The Promise
by Sh1 n0 m1k0
Summary: The Obligatory and Awkward First. complete Five years after the series. How is everyone coping? Chapter 8 edited.
1. The Promise

insert standard disclaimers here  
  


~~~~  
  


Van was staring out of the window at the Mystic Moon for the umpteenth time. Gods, he missed her. That strange girl from the Mystic Moon. Hitomi Kanzaki, who turned his world upside-down and taught him to view life in a new light. The girl with the weird clothes and weird hair who helped end a war that would have consumed Gaea if it had gone on unchecked. It had been five years since the end of the war. Van smiled to himself and pulled the pendant out of the folds of his shirt, studying the stone as he allowed himself to sink back into the comfortable familiarity of memories.  
  


If you need a friend,

Don't look to a stranger,

You know in the end,

I'll always be there...  
  


*~flashback~*  
  


Quiet applause broke the silence, making Allen and Van jump. Millerna stepped out of the shadow, smiling. Van sighed inwardly as he sheathed his sword, relieved that it wasn't Hitomi. Allen had already embarrassed him enough already with his 'high-and-mighty' airs that if Hitomi saw his defeat tonight just in sparring, he'd probably have to crawl in a hole and stay there forever. He cast a sidelong glance at Allen, who was conversing with Millerna. More like Millerna was flirting voraciously with the blond knight, making Van doubly glad that Hitomi wasn't there to witness it. He slipped away, heading for the stairs. Hitomi was on the way up.  
  


"Van! Did you drink too much vino, too?" She asked, puzzled.  
  


Van slowly walked down the few steps between them, noting her slightly flushed cheeks and the fact that she hadn't bothered to change out of her torn dress.   
  


"You don't want to go up there."  
  


"And why not? My head hurts and I could use the fresh air!"  
  


He was on the same step now. Van looked into Hitomi's eyes, drinking in the richness of their color while trying to think of a suitable comeback. No good. He broke his gaze, continuing down the stone steps, leaving a very confused Hitomi behind.  
  


When he reached his room, he tossed his sword on a chair and flopped back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Soon after, he heard the sound of running footsteps in the hallway and the door to the room next to his slam. Someone was crying. Van's heart began to hurt.  
  


But when you're in doubt,

And when you're in danger, 

Take a look all about,

And I'll be there...  
  


Those damn Geckos had to be around here somewhere! Van slogged through the waterways in Palas. He had to get to Hitomi!  
  


"Over there!" Merle shouted from Escaflowne's shoulder, pointing. Van scanned the area Merle had indicated. The boat! He moved as fast as he could in the waterlogged guymelef, slowly catching up. He smiled maliciously. He was gonna kill them if the had done anything to Hitomi. His Hitomi.  
  


His prey began to submerge. Van swore.  
  


"Merle! Get to shore!" He shouted, catgirl responding quickly. Van took a deep breath and blindly went beneath the water. He made a blind grab for the submersible. Miss. He tried again, lungs burning for air. He barely caught the renegade vessel. Van surfaced, bearing his prize and gasping for air. The hatch opened, and the Gecko-men abandoned ship. Hitomi caught sight of her savior, and yelled excitedly, cutting Van to the bone.  
  


"Allen!"  
  


I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say,

I know they don't sound the way I plan them to be,

But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,

I promise you...

I promise you...

I will...  
  


Van and Hitomi were stargazing as Merle slept. They had to flee Palas in order to escape Zaibach and had ended up in the middle of nowhere. Van was still sore from the blow that Hitomi had dealt him back in the waterways. He could still hear the joy in her voice as she called out to him.  
  


'Allen!'  
  


Granted he had confronted her later about Allen's lack of presence, but still...  
  


It had hurt.  
  


He had withdrawn from the world the only way he had known how, immersed in his training, only to be interrupted in his solitude by the very same person that had pushed him into it. Hitomi. She had asked him about her pendant, and Escaflowne's energist, and somehow they had gotten to the subject of their lives. For the first time in too long, Van Fanel revealed his life and his personal pain. He would have laughed if someone told him that he would do that, but he told her. When he was with her, it just felt...right.  
  


Van turned his head to look at the object of his thoughts. She had fallen asleep. He smiled and sat up carefully. She looked so peaceful when she slept. Beautiful..He carefully brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and she sighed as she rolled over.  
  


"mmmallen..."  
  


He was gonna kill that knight.  
  


When your day is through,

And so is your temper,

You know what to do,

I'm gonna always be there...  
  


"Stop it!" Hitomi's voice rang through the air.  
  


The fist flew again, making contact with Van's abdomen, knowing the breath out of him. Van painfully opened his eyes, made difficult since one of them was almost swollen shut. The miner's pink-haired leader was walking to Hitomi, and he knelt in front of her.  
  


"Meet Nina. One bite from her and you're dead. Don't worry; she listens to me. Go ahead, Nina, say 'hello'." The snake began to make it's way up his arm to her legs. It began to wrap itself around her torso. Van began to panic, trying to draw the man's attention from her.  
  


"Leave Hitomi out of this!" The snake had made it's way up to Hitomi's shoulder, and was nearing her face.   
  


"Give her a kiss, Nina," the man crooned, "Put some love into it."  
  


"I SAID LEAVE HER ALONE!" Van shouted. Suddenly, a strange beeping noise came out of nowhere, distracting the men. Van took advantage of the lack of attention and used his legs to swing so he could reach the sword of a nearby captor. He hooked it with his feet and flung it up into the air, and as it fell, it sliced through his confining ropes and landed perfectly in his hands. He lunged forward, making short work of the men in his path, and cleanly took the head off 'Nina'. He landed in a defensive pose behind Hitomi, facing the leader. The pink-haired man stepped backward, and slipped on the edge of the small cliff, breaking his neck as he slid to the bottom.  
  


"Hide!" Van yelled at over his shoulder and he ran off to find Escaflowne. He just had to destroy the energist warehouse, and the war would be over much faster. Then he could concentrate his energies on keeping Allen away from Hitomi.  
  


As he soared though the sky, the energists began to beat erratically, each set off as the others came to life. Van smiled grimly at the ensuing explosion, and was suddenly on guard as he heard a scream. It was Hitomi. He quickly reigned in the dragon to her voice. She was falling into a crevice formed from the explosion. He'd never make it in time on Escaflowne. He flung off his shirt and jumped. He had to reach her!  
  


She was holding out a hand to him, fear displayed plainly across her face as well as...expectation? Van closed his eyes in a moment of concentration, and a pair of glowing white wings poured from his back, feather falling gently around him. He grabbed her hand.  
  


"You- You're an angel.."  
  


Sometimes if I shout,

It's not what's intended,

These words just come out,

With no gripe to bear...  
  


The windmill. Van was busy sharpening the blade of Escaflowne's massive sword, painfully aware of Hitomi sitting in the loft behind him. He had finally built up the courage to tell her what he felt for her last night, but now it was fading fast. Well, he had to start somewhere.  
  


"Hitomi... I want you to stay with me... from now on that is.." He was suddenly very interested in his work.   
  


He was afraid. Afraid to turn around, afraid of rejection, and afraid of losing her. He began kicking himself mentally.   
  


"Van..."  
  


He lost it.  
  


"I WANT YOU!" He spun and faced her. He couldn't take it. He couldn't lose her. It just wasn't an option. He lost his nerve at the look on her face.  
  


"I WANT YOUR POWER!"  
  


She had slapped him.  
  


I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say,

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be,

But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me, 

I promise you...

I promise you...

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say,

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be,

And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,

I promise you...

I promise you...

I will...  
  


Van ran along the streets, rain falling around him. He had to find her! It had started to rain after she had fled his company, and he had gone out after her. Where was she?? He was coming to a bridge and he could barely make out the outlines of two figures seeking shelter in the warmth of each other's embrace though the rain. He slowed down as curiosity got the better of him. His blood ran cold as he watched Allen lean down to claim Hitomi's lips with his own. Van's Hitomi. He felt his heart shatter and his body refused to respond to his orders. He stood rooted to the spot. When Allen finally broke off the kiss, Hitomi looked up. Straight at him.   
  


He finally snapped to life as he saw horror pour into her eyes. He turned and ran aimlessly through the streets.  
  


Lost, tired, cold, wet, and heartbroken, Van finally stopped where he was, and leaned against the side of a building. The reality of what he saw hit him, and he slid down the wall, scraping his back. He slammed his fist into the ground in frustration as the image of Allen and Hitomi burned in his memory. He curled up into a ball, bangs casting a shadow on his face as he allowed his tears to fall, mixing with the rain. He had lost her.  
  


I gotta tell ya...  
  


Van flew frantically toward the sickening beam of green light coming from Zaibach's capital. Hitomi was calling him! She needed him!  
  


I gotta tell ya...  
  


Escaflowne began to buck under the stress. Van abandoned the controls and unfurled his wings.  
  


I gotta tell ya...  
  


He flew into the light, blinded in the intensity. The glass globe shattered. Hitomi was waiting.  
  


I need to tell ya...  
  


"Van!" Hitomi practically flew into his arms. Van clutched her to him possessively as he pulled them upwards with a powerful flap of his wings. She had waited for him. For him. Not Allen. Him. She buried her face in his chest as they glided away from the dark capital.   
  


Van landed as gently as he could, trying not to disturb her when they reached the rest of their group. She lingered in his arms for a moment before pulling away, reluctantly. Something caught her eye.  
  


"Allen!" She ran to him, leaving Van hurt and very much alone.  
  


*~end flashback~*  
  


I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say,

I know they don't sound the way I plan them to be,

But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,

I promise you...

I promise you...

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say,

I know they don't sound the way I plan them to be,

And if I had to walk the world, I'll make you fall for me,

I promise you...

I promise you...

I will...  
  


Van smirked at the glowing stone. Her gift before the wedding. He could still feel her hands on his when she gave it to him. He let the gem fall to hit his collarbone and sighed, returning his gaze to the twin moons.   
  


It had hurt. To watch the woman who taught him to love run to the arms of another man. It still hurt.  
  


He unclasped the necklace and stared at it. He bit his lip and held it up, letting the gem dangle to catch the light.   
  


"Hitomi Kanzaki..." He murmured, purposely leaving off her acquired last name.  
  


I will...  
  


He brought the stone up to his lips, kissing it gently.  
  


"I love you." He flung the chain out the window as hard as he could, watching as the darkness swallowed it from sight.  
  


I will...

~~~~  
  
A/N: *radio announcer's voice* That was, 'The Promise' by When In Rome. Stay tuned...  
  
  
  



	2. Homecoming

insert standard disclaimer here  
  


~~~~~

Dryden sighed and pushed his glasses back up on his nose. It had been five years since he had parted ways with his royal in-laws. Five long years of bickering merchants, nagging advisors, and greedy clients. Through it all, it seemed he couldn't take his mind off a certain golden-haired princess.

I know she said it's alright

But you can make it up next time

I know she knows it's not right

There ain't no use in lying...

He yawned and stretched. Riding on horseback for the last week was taking it's toll on his back. He grimaced at the dull ache that had settled in. He absolutely couldn't wait to be home in Asturia. He longed for a real bed, good food, and a library at his disposal again. Then he could be with her again. He shouldn't have left. He wanted to see her again. His goddess.

Maybe she thinks I know something

Maybe...

Maybe she thinks it's fine

Maybe she knows something I don't 

I'm so...

I'm so tired...

I'm so tired of trying...

"Almost there, sir!" A voice broke into his thoughts.  
  


"Thank you," Dryden smiled in response. He looked back to the path, allowing his mind to wander.  
  


*~flashback~*  
  


"Meet your fiancee, Millerna."  
  


The blond girl curtsied, "Pleased to meet you."  
  


Dryden lifted the girl's hand and kissed it, locking eyes with her, "The pleasure is all mine, I assure you."  
  


The girl had blushed.  
  


"I suggest that you two get to know eachother."  
  


The girl curtsied again, "Of course, Father."  
  


*~end flashback~*

It seems to me that maybe

It pretty much always means no

So don't tell me,

You might just let it go.

And oftentimes we're lazy

It seems to stand in my way

'Cause no one, no not no one 

Likes to be let down...

Dryden smiled to himself. He had fallen in love with her that day. Right then and there. He loved the way she carried herself with a tomboyish grace, the way the sunlight played off her

hair, the way her eyes always shone with a fierce independence... He chuckled; he even liked the way she stubbornly refused to marry him!  
  


*~flashback~*  
  


They were walking through the palace gardens in silence, no one having anything to say.   
  


Suddenly, Millerna spun to face him.  
  


"I'll have you know I do not have any intention to marry you. I am in love with another, and nothing you or father say or do will change that!"  
  


*~end flashback~*  
  


Dryden chuckled again.

I know she loves the sunrise 

No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes

And I know that when she says she's gonna try

Well it might not work because of other ties and

I know she usually has some other ties and

I wouldn't want to break 'em

Nah

I wouldn't want to break 'em

Maybe she'll help me to untie this, but

Until then, well, I'm gonna have to lie, too...

The sharp percussion of the horse's hooves on the cobblestone broke Dryden out of his reverie. They had arrived. He quickly dismounted and entered the palace, ignoring the discomfort in his back and shoulders. He was greeted by the ever stoic Princess Eries.   
  


He bowed, "Where might I find Princess Millerna?"  
  


Eries smiled, "She's at the local hospital."  
  


"Hospital?"   
  


Eries nodded, "I'll have someone take you there."  
  


He bowed again, "Thank you, Princess."

It seems to me that maybe 

It pretty much always means no

So don't tell me you might just let it go...

Dryden entered the large building and the scent of numerous medicinal herbs assaulted his nose. He watched the people scurrying about with awe. Much had changed since he left.

"Can I help you, mister?"

And often times we're lazy 

It seems to stand in my way

'Cause no one, no not no one 

Likes to be let down

He smiled at the little boy who had tugged at his sleeve, and crouched down to eye level.

  
  


"I'm looking for the Princess Millerna."

  
  


The boy's face brightened at her name.

  
  


"I'll take you to her, okay?" The boy eagerly grabbed his hand and pulled him down a hallway.  
  


"Okay! Okay!" He laughed as he allowed the boy to lead him through the maze. They stopped in front of a sturdy oaken door. The boy opened it and bounded in, Dryden quietly slipping in behind him.   
  


Millerna was struggling to keep a little boy still in bed. Her eyes lit upon the loud intruder.  
  


"Archer, would you please go get Lady Airwra to help me?"  
  


Archer nodded enthusiastically, and brushed past Dryden as Millerna returned to her charge.

"Please, Wynn! I have to look at your arm!"  
  


"It huuuurrrts!"  
  


"I know it does, Wynn, and if you sit still like a good little boy, I can make it feel all better, okay?"  
  


Dryden walked across the room, still unnoticed by Millerna, and picked up an apple that rested in a bowl on an end table. He pulled a small knife out of one of his pouches, and moved to the foot of the bed where the boy could see him. He began to peel the fruit.

It seems to me that maybe

It pretty much always means no 

So don't tell me you just might let it go...

The boy watched in awe as Dryden's peel got longer and longer without breaking. Millerna used the distraction to undo the bandages on the boy's arm and clean the wound there.  
  


"Look, Lady Millerna!" The boy pointed as the peeling hit the floor.  
  


"That's wonderful, Wynn, " She replied, still focused on her task, "Almost done."  
  


Dryden ran out of skin, and the peeling fell to the floor. Quietly he picked it up, and placed it in the boy's lap.  
  


"Done!" Millerna cried triumphantly, "Thank you-" Her voice died in her throat as she saw her assistant, "Dryden?"  
  


"It's been a long time, Millerna."  
  


Millerna walked around the bed and stood before him, staring at his face in wonder. He smiled

at her. She narrowed her eyes and slapped him. She stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned Dryden behind.

The harder you try, baby, the further you'll fall

Even with all the money in the whole wide world

Please Please Please don't pass me

Please Please Please don't pass me 

Please Please Please don't pass me by...

"Oohhhh..." Wynn muttered from the bed. Dryden shot him a dark look and followed after his princess, cheek still stinging painfully.  
  


"Millerna!" He yelled at her retreating form, jogging to catch up. She ducked into a room,

Dryden following. She stood with her back to him, hands in tight fists at her sides, trembling slightly.  
  


"Millerna..."He tentatively reached out a hand and gently brushed her shoulder. She spun

around, violently knocking away his hand as angry tears coursed their was down her cheeks. She

glared at him.

Everything you know about me now, baby, you gonna have to change

You gonna call it by a brand new name

Please Please Please don't drag me

Please Please Please don't drag me

Please Please Please don't drag me down

"I missed you," She hissed accusingly, " I wasn't supposed to miss you, because you were

supposed to come back.," She hid her face in her hands, sobbing, "Why didn't you come back?"  
  


Dryden stepped forward and gathered her into his arms, allowing her to cry into his shirt. "I'm sorry," He murmured, stroking her hair.  
  


"Don't leave me again," She shuddered into his shirt, clutching on to him as if he would disappear.   
  


"I won't," He replied, kissing the top of her head.

Just like a tree down by the water, baby, I shall not move

Even after all the silly things you do

Please Please Please don't drag me

Please Please Please don't drag me

Please Please Please don't drag me down...

They stayed like that, Dryden stroking her hair, allowing Millerna to regain her composure. Finally her sobs turned to sniffles, and she pulled away.  
  


"I must look a wreck," She muttered, tugging at the front of her dress.  
  


Dryden regarded her coolly, then lifted her chin so she was looking at him.  
  


"Beautiful," He murmured, lightly brushing her lips with his. He was home.

~~~~~

A/N: *radio announcer's voice* And that was 'Flake' by Jack Johnson. Coming up...


	3. Earrings

insert standard disclaimer here  
  


~~~~  
  


Millerna ran a brush through her hair, thoughtfully watching her reflection mimic her actions. She attempted a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, giving her a fake look. She sighed and put the brush down on the table. Everyone was going to be back for the anniversary of the Great War. Five years ago...when that girl from the Mystic Moon fell from the skies and ended all the struggles. Well...most of them anyway.  
  


Millerna smiled to herself, that same girl was her main competition for a heart-breaker. She wondered how Hitomi was doing as she reached for a jar of powder. A pair of earrings near the jar caught her eye. She picked them up tentatively and studied them with wonder. She smiled.  
  


It's not her fault that she's so irresistable,

But all the damage she's done isn't fixable...  
  


She remembered these earrings. All too well...  
  


~*flashback*~  
  


Millerna twirled ecstatically in her room, skirts swirling around her legs. Tonight was the night! It finally came! She fell onto her bed, giggling. The ball was tonight, and Allen was going to be there! She sat up, flushed with excitement. Now just to get rid of Hitomi...  
  


Every twenty seconds you repeat her name,

But when it comes to me, you don't care,

If I'm alive or dead!  
  


She scowled. All the attention that was lavished on that girl was indecent! She already had the King of Fanelia wrapped around her finger! Millerna had seen the look in his eyes when Hitomi was involved. It was easy to read him. But no! That little tramp had to have Allen, too! Her Allen! Now he barely even acknowledged her existence, much less even looked her way!   
  


So objection I don't want to be the exception

To get a bit of your attention

I love you for free and I'm not your mother

But you don't even bother

Objection I'm tired of this triangle

Got dizzy dancing the tango

I'm falling apart in your hands again

No way! I've got to get away!  
  


It wasn't fair! She's a bloody princess for crying out loud! She didn't deserve to be ignored by the man of her dreams! It just wasn't fair! What did Hitomi have that she didn't??  
  


Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal

That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible

But you gotta know small things also count

You better put your feet on the ground 

And see what it's about!  
  


Millerna stormed to her dressing table and angrily sunk into the chair set before it. Her reflection glared at her, sulking. That...that...wench had managed to ruin her mood again! She picked up a powder brush and began to apply makeup, but stopped herself, and slammed the poor applicator down on the table.   
  


She stomped over to her closet, angrily shoving dresses back and forth. She finally found one that suited her needs and violently pulled it out of it's home. He's gonna at least look at her tonight, dammit!  
  


Objection I don't want to be the exception

To get a bit of your attention

I love you for free and I'm not your mother

But you don't even bother

Objection I'm tired of this triangle

Got dizzy dancing the tango

I'm falling apart in your hands again

No way, no no no no no...  
  


She squirmed into the fabric, pulling it over her head. She looked back over her shoulder at her mirror to judge her appearance. Her hair was slowly floating upward with static, making her look like she was glowing in the lighting. She smoothed her hand over her hair, taming the renegade hairs as she returned to her place by the table.  
  


She picked up the powder brush she had abandoned before, and swiped it across her cheekbones in a graceful stroke. She picked up a kohl pencil and outlined her eyes to make them stand out more from her pale face. A little bit of lipstick and an overcoat of gloss finished the effect. She pursed her lips at her image and smiled. Perfect.  
  


I wish there was a chance for you and me

I wish you couldn't find a place to be 

Away from here...  
  


Millerna spun in front of her full-length mirror, making a final inspection. She frowned. Something was missing. Jewelry! That's it! She pulled out her jewelry chest and began to rifle through it. Her fingers came upon an eccentric pair of earrings. They were silver with a medium-sized purple stone in the middle. She tried to remember when she got these. Suddenly it hit her. She had bought them from some gypsy women at the bazaar about a month ago. They had told her that if she made a wish on them before wearing them, it would come true, but it would only work once. Millerna smiled. Okay earrings, do your stuff.  
  


This is pathetic and sardonic

It's sadistic and psychotic

Tango is not for three 

Was never meant to be

But you can try it 

Rehearse it 

Or train like a horse

But don't you count on me

Oh don't you count on me boy!  
  


Millerna shut her eyes and made her wish. There was a knock on the door as she was fastening them on.  
  


"Who is it?" She cried out expectantly.  
  


"Dryden."  
  


"Oh."  
  


"Are you ready to go?"  
  


Millerna sighed, "I guess."  
  


She checked her reflection one last time before pacifying her father by going down with Dryden.  
  


~*end flashback*~  
  


Objection I don't want to be the exception

To get a bit of your attention

I love you for free and I'm not your mother

But you don't even bother...  
  


Millerna almost started to giggle as she allowed the earrings resting in her palm to catch the light and shimmer. She was so naive back then! The earrings did nothing! Allen had ignored her the entire night, opting to stay with Hitomi! She smiled to herself. Millerna looked at the door. Dryden should be coming for her soon. She looked back the glistening stones and got an idea. She put on the earrings and studied her reflection just as there was a knock on the door.  
  


Objection I'm tired of this triangle

Got dizzy dancing the tango

I'm falling apart in your hands again

No way, I've got to get away!  
  


"Millerna?"  
  


She smiled widely, "Who is it?"  
  


"Dryden."  
  


She stood up and faced the door, "Come in!"  
  


Dryden opened the door warily, and was greeted by a radiant Millerna.  
  


He smiled, "Beautiful as ever," He noticed something. He walked up to her and touched the earrings, "Aren't these those ones that you had at the ball that one night..."  
  


Millerna smiled at him, touched that he had remembered, "Yes, why?"  
  


"You seemed disappointed about something and any time I asked you what was wrong, you'd blame the earrings."  
  


She blushed, "My wish didn't come true."  
  


"Wish?"  
  


She blushed harder, "It's childish, really."  
  


He kissed her on the forehead, "It was important to you then, and it's important to me now. Please?"  
  


"I wished that the man of my dreams would pay constant attention to me."  
  


"He did, didn't he?"  
  


Get Away...  
  


Millerna looked at him funny, "Not really.."  
  


Dryden looked hurt, "Then who's the man of your dreams?"  
  


She sighed, "Allen wouldn't even pay any attention to me..."  
  


"But I did."  
  


Get Away...  
  


Millerna stopped dead. She had never thought about that. She smiled wryly. Maybe she was still naive.  
  


Get Away...  
  


Dryden offered her his arm, "I do believe that everyone is waiting, dearest."  
  


She smiled and took his arm, and they made their way down the stairs to rejoin with their friends.  
  
  
  


~~~~~  
  
  
A/N: *radio announcer's voice* What you just heard was 'Objection' by Shakira. Up next...  
  
  



	4. Struggles

insert standard disclaimer here  
  


~~~~~  
  


"GET OUTTA MY HEAD!" Celena screamed, doubling over in pain, "STOP IT! I'M NOT LIKE YOU!" She stumbled backwards, knocking over a lamp. She steadied herself on a bedpost, panting heavily.  
  


"Celena?" Allen peeked into the room, concerned, "Are you okay?"  
  


She nodded weakly as Allen walked over and held her by her shoulders from behind, supporting her. She leaned into him.  
  


"Are you sure this is a good idea?" She whispered, "He's getting stronger..."  
  


Allen hugged her reassuringly, "It'll be fine. Just get some rest, alright?"  
  


Celena nodded, wishing she could fully trust his words. Allen smiled at her, and left to get ready for the celebrations.  
  


Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real  
  


Celena watched helplesly as the door closed, leaving her alone to fight her demons. Scratch that. Demon. Singular. She closed her eyes and sank down onto her bed, head in her hands and elbows on her knees. He'd be back soon. She knew it. He always tried to take control around this time. Burning red eyes opened in her mind.  
  


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming, Confusing

This lack of self control I fear is never ending

Controlling, I can't seem...  
  


'LET ME OUT!'  
  


"NO! YOU'LL JUST GO KILL EVERYONE!"  
  


'It'd only be what they deserved,' he sneered.  
  


"NO!"  
  


'DO IT!'  
  


"I'm not letting you out," Celena sighed, "This is not open for debate! I'm tired, and I have a party to get ready for, so GO AWAY!"  
  


Celena kicked him out of her mind, and threw up the barriers she had been taught to build up in her mind. She could feel him pounding against them, and she ignored it.  
  


To find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence, and I'm convinced

That it's just too much pressure to take.)

I've felt this way before

So insecure...  
  


It had been like this ever since she came back. She had managed to take back her body, and now just carried him around in the back of her mind. It was slowly killing her, eating at her from the inside. He was the poison, she was the vessel. When she felt that her barricades were strong enough to withstand his attacks, she stood and began her preparations, reflecting on her situation.  
  


Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real  
  


He always got stronger around this time, as well as more manipulative. It would only be a matter of time before he broke through again. Celena sighed. They used to be friends. They had formed a truce and had coexisted peacefully for about a year until that fateful day. The anniversary of the end of the Great War.  
  


He had ravaged her mind, forcing himself into her body, and throwing her back into his dark subconscious. She could still hear the screams of the people he ahd slaughtered that night. Allen had found her the next day, collapsed on the floor of her foom, blood staining her clothes and hands.  
  


She had cried in Allen's arms and related back to him what had happened. He had held her tight and rocked her back and forth, whispering soothing words of how, "It'll be alright," and that it would be "okay."  
  


Well it wasn't.  
  


Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me

Distraction, reacting

Against my will I stand behind my own reflection

It's haunting, how I can't seem...  
  


She had a crazed, murdering monster inside of her, and all the energy that it took to suppress his hatred and bloodlust was sapping her. Both mentally and physically. She had trusted him, and he had used her. Brutally.  
  


Celena sank down into a chair, exhausted with only changing her dress. Everything would have to wait. She was just too tired.  
  


Allen always worried about her. He was very supportive, and constantly watching her, although making sure he wasn't smothering her. She was grateful for that. Knowing he was always there, while still respecting her freedom. But he was always worried. Celena smiled. She loved her brother. He was like a magnet, drawing people to him. He had friends everywhere, but she only had one. A sick, twisted creature that resided in her head.  
  


To find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced

That it's just too much pressure to take.)

I've felt this way before

So insecure...  
  


It was that same creature that prevented her from having any normal relationships. Allen had introduced her to his war-time friends. They had been polite, but painfully obvious that they did not trust her. The King of Fanelia didn't even bother being polite. He didn't acknowledge her existence!  
  


A stray tear ran down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. What did she expect? She had killed thousands when he had been in control. Did she really expect them to accept her with open arms? Dogs even ran away from her with their tails tucked between their legs! Only Allen had stuck by her after the war. She was alone, and that would never change.  
  


Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real  
  


Celena sighed and rubbed her temples. He had stopped trying to break through her barriers, and the dull headache was slowly subsiding. She rose unsteadily to her feet and made her way to the dressing table. She picked up a brush and ran it through her short hair. It had never grown any longer, a testimony to the demon she held. Her curse.  
  


Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real  
  


She moved to her bags, and began digging for something. She pulled out a golden tiara with a red stone mounted on it. she fingered it gingerly before putting it on across her forehead. She looked at her reflection, thoughtfully. She'd wear it tonight. Her eternal reminder of him and his sins.  
  


Suddenly a sharp pain shot though her head making her gasp. He was forcing his way through her barriers! She screamed and clutched at the sides of her head. It felt like he was ripping the inside of her skull apart.  
  


"STOP IT!" She screamed.  
  


Dilandau continued his assault on her mind, tearing at his prison. She opened her eyes, catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror. Her eyes were flashing between blue and red. Celena gritted her teeth against the pain and tried to defend herself. She ensnared him in a tendril of her consciousness, and suspended him in nothingness, where he flailed fruitlessly.  
  


'BITCH!'  
  


Celena fell to the floor, panting, completely drained.  
  


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming, confusing what is real

This lack of self control I feel is never ending

Controlling, confusing what is real...  
  


She sat up slowly, fighting the blackness that lingered at the edge of her vision. She passes out; he wins; people die.  
  


It was going to be a long night.  
  


~~~~  
  


A/N: *radio announcer's voice* That was 'Crawling' by Linkin Park. Don't touch that dial...


	5. Desires

insert standard disclaimer here  
  


A/N: Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson! This chapter's quite a bit twisted. It's called "Breaking into Dilandau's head". Warning!

~~~~~  
  


He floated in the darkness, curled into the fetal position. It was cold. He hated the cold.  
  


Another dream that will never come true

Just to compliment your sorrow

Another life that I've taken from you

A gift to add on to your pain and suffering...  
  


Stupid bitch. Trapping him here. Not fair. Could just give him another chance. He smiled. Then he would find and kill Van and his whore. Maybe Allen while he was at it. Dilandau began to giggle as images of Van lying dead and bleeding ran through his mind.  
  


Another truth you can never believe

Has crippled you completely

All the cries you're beginning to hear

Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening...  
  


First, he'd capture them both. Then he'd chain up Van and beat him for good measure. Not to unconsciousness, that'd be no fun. Then he'd bring out that bitch from the Mystic Moon, and let Van watch as he beat her, too. Van would watch as Dilandau turned her pale skin a sickly shade of purple, and as her face would swell into deformity. Not to unconsciousness, of course. Then he'd drag the Dragon's whore to where Van had a nice view, and slit her throat. Van would have to listen as the girl screamed and begged for mercy. Dilandau grinned.  
  


Let me enlighten you

This is the way I pray...  
  


Van would have to watch the blood run from his love's neck down her body, watching it as it dripped from her fingers. Then, as her lifeless body cooled, he'd lick the blood off his dagger. Van, poor, helpless Van would most certainly be furious. And broken. Most definitely broken. With frustration, anger, and fear. Most definitely fear. But Dilandau wouldn't be done there. He'd take the dagger he used to bleed the girl, and give Van a scar to match his own. Then he'd burn the names of his Dragon Slayers into his flesh, maybe carve into them at the same time for good measure. Then he'd just sit back with a bottle of vino and watch as Van slowly bled to death. He laughed.  
  


Living just isn't hard enough

Burn me alive, inside

Living my life's not hard enough

Take everything away...  
  


Dilandau scowled. He wanted revenge. NOW! But that stupid girl would not let him out to play, and she had trapped him here, helpless. He shivered. It was really cold.  
  


Another nightmare about to come true

Will manifest tomorrow

Another love that I've taken from you

Lost in time, on the edge of suffering...  
  


Fire. The thought made Dilandau shiver with pleasure. He loved fire. It was perfect. The way it's golden flames danced, consuming whatever it touched, leaving behind a path of dark, twisted destruction.  
  


Another taste of the evil I breed 

Will level you completely

Bring to life everything that you fear

Live in the dark and the world is threatening...  
  


It was still cold. Fire. Van. Cold. Van! Revenge. Fire. Cold. Revenge. Van. Cold. Van. REVENGE!  
  


Let me enlighten you

This is the way I pray

Living just isn't hard enough

Burn me alive, inside

Living my life's not hard enough

Take everything away...  
  


Van. All his Dragon Slayers were died by his hand. Gatti. Chesta. Miguel. Dallet. Viole. Guimel. All dead. Damn him. Dilandau was alone because of him. Alone.  
  


Return to me

Leave me no one

Turn to me

Return to me 

Cast aside...  
  


He didn't want to be alone.  
  


"JAJUKA!"  
  


You've made me turn away...  
  


'You're not alone, Dilandau,' A feminine voice floated down to him.  
  


"Not alone?"  
  


'No. Not alone. I'm here. Celena.'  
  


"Celena?"  
  


'Yes. Celena.'  
  


"I'm sorry. Don't leave me alone."  
  


Living just isn't hard enough

Burn me alive, inside

Living my life's not hard enough

Take everything away  
  


'I won't.'  
  


Dilandau nodded, then shivered.  
  


It was cold. He hated the cold.  
  


~~~~~   
  


A/N: *radio announcer's voice* 'Prayer' by Disturbed. Coming up next...


	6. Regrets

insert standard disclaimer here

~~~~~

Allen watched the Mystic Moon with a sense of curiosity. He wondered how Hitomi was doing. It had been five years, after all. He sighed and shut his eyes as a breeze came up and played with his hair. He had escaped to the gardens after he had left Celena's room, and was just wandering along with his thoughts. He turned to look at t he palace. A light was on in one of the upper rooms. Someone was in the window.  
  


Allen watched as the silhouette stood without moving. Suddenly, it unhooked something from around it's neck, and threw it as far as it could, before retreating back into the room. It seemed that he wasn't the only one with things on his mind.  
  


Should I? Could I?

Have said the wrong things right a thousand times

If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind

If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine...  
  


His gaze returned to the double moons hanging above him. He smiled.  
  


"Hello, Hitomi. How are you? You know, it's been five years here since you left with what's-his-face. Van was pretty broken up about that. He loves you. Celena is doing really well. She only had a relapse into Dilandau once, and that was about four years ago..."  
  


He paused as a breeze caressed his face.  
  


"I guess you can say we're all doing fine. Millerna started a hospital here, and it's turned out to be very helpful here in Asturia. Dryden came back from his travels yesterday. Millerna was really happy; she missed him a lot. We're all worried about Van, though. Merle especially. He's been really depressed lately, we can tell, even though he tries to hide it. You should come back. At least for a visit. That would cheer him up. We all miss you."  
  


His hair swayed gently in the breeze.  
  


"It was nice to talk to you again."  
  


You cried, I died

I should have shut my mouth, things headed south

As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb

If this old heart could talk, it'd say your the one

I'm wasting time when I think about it...  
  


Allen closed his eyes again and smiled. He felt better. He missed her. The sandy-haired girl who captured his heart. Yes, he did love her. He loved her like he loved Celena, a little sister for him to protect and look out for. How he had ever mistaken it for anything else was beyond him. He smiled again as he remembered the look on her face when he proposed to her. She was shocked, frightened, and delighted, all rolled into one. She had convinced herself she loved him just as he was convinced he loved her.   
  


They were wrong.  
  


I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights

I was misunderstood

I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could

Damn, misunderstood...  
  


Millerna had also convinced herself that she loved him, as well. Now she was happily with Dryden. He shook his head. He had figured that one out. She had looked up to Marlene so much that she had even "fallen in love" with the same man. She was with Dryden now, and he made her happy. Allen smiled.  
  


Marlene.   
  


He loved her. _Really_ loved her. They were perfect for eachother, and complimented eachother's personalities wonderfully. Now only if Aston had seen that.  
  


Could I? Should I?

Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night

Staying out too late with all my friends

You found me passed out in the yard again...  
  


Allen wandered over to a nearby stone bench and sat, sword clanking against the stone. He watched the stars, wondering if she was up there somewhere. He missed her badly. It killed him a little bit each day to wake up every morning and not having her there, lying beside him.  
  


She gave him Chid. He smiled as he thought of the little duke.  
  


You cried, I tried

To stretch the truth but didn't lie

It's not so bad when you think about it...  
  


The duke of Freid was his son, and one hell of a leader. Allen shook his head. He must have gotten it from his mother. He sighed. It hurt him deeply to watch his soulmate be married off to another man in some stupid peace/alliance deal, then have her bear _his_ son while the intruder claimed him as his own. Allen scowled. He had wanted to hit that man numerous times.  
  


Like the time when Princess Eries had convinced Aston to let him go to Freid as a diplomat, and had caught him slapping Marlene. Or when they were escaping Freid and he had reprimanded Chid for mourning the loss of life. Bastard.  
  


I would have drove all night, I would have run all the lights

I was misunderstood

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could

Damn, misunderstood

Intentions good...  
  


At least Chid looked up to him, with all the stories Marlene had told him. He sighed and returned to studying the stars.  
  


It's just you and I, think about it...  
  


He should have run off with her when he had the chance. Then they could be happily married off in some obscure little country with a quaint little cottage. They would have had a boy, Chid, and a little girl. Allen would support them all by training young boys to become noble swordsmen. He would come home each day, get a hug from the children and a kiss from Marlene. After the children were put to bed, he and Marlene would stay up and watch the glowing embers of the fire while talking about their future together.  
  


I should have drove all night

I would have run all the lights

I was misunderstood

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could

I'm hanging outside your door

I've been here before

Misunderstood...  
  


Allen sighed. Then he would have never been assigned to the Crusade, met Van, Hitomi, or Merle, made peace with his father, or ever found his sister again. Maybe it was for the best that it worked out this way.  
  


"Allen!" Celena's voice pulled him out of his reverie. She wandered over to him, smiling brightly and eyes shining.  
  


"C'mon! They're all probably waiting for us!" She playfully tugged him to his feet. He noticed the eccentric piece of jewelry prominently displayed across her forehead and shot her a questioning look. She shrugged.  
  


"I won't deny the fact that he's a part of me anymore."  
  


Allen bowed to her, playfully, "If that is what my lady wishes."  
  


"Oh stop it!" She swatted him on the arm, laughing.  
  


I stumbled like my words, did the best I could

Damn, misunderstood  
  


Allen laughed and suddenly grew somber, "Feeling better?"  
  


She nodded energetically, "We had a little talk and managed to reach a compromise. Now let's go!"  
  


Allen laughed again as she pulled him along by the hand like and overly excited child.  
  


It was definitely for the best.  
  


Intentions good.

~~~~~

A/N: *radio announcer's voice* And that was 'Misunderstood' by Bon Jovi. Stay tuned...


	7. Mourning

insert standard disclaimer here  
  


~~~~~

Van quietly closed the door to his room and walked down the hallway, head bent low. Blue eyes watched from the shadows as he stopped and looked back at the door, then turned away and began to meander down the hallway.  
  


"Van-sama..."  
  


My lullabye

Hung out to dry

What's up with that?

It's over...  
  


Merle slowly come out of the shadows as the depressed man walked past her hiding spot, and she padded along silently behind him. She was worried about him. Extremely worried. Especially at this time of the year. It always reminded him of...her. It killed her inside to watch him slowly crumble, reduced to an empty shell every year. He just...wasn't the same... Her breath caught in her throat as something crystalline fell off of his chin. He didn't deserve to be treated like this. He just didn't. And there was nothing she could do about it.  
  


Where are you, dad?

Mum's looking sad

What's up with that?

It's dark in here...  
  


She quietly tiptoed up behind him and tenatively tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around quickly, hopeful, and she gave him a weak smile as the hope drained from his face. He attempted to smile back. Merle took his arm and they began to walk down the hallway in silence. Just taking comfort in the other's presence. Merle broke the dead silence.  
  


"Are you okay, Van-sama?"  
  


Van nodded gruffly, clearing his throat and studying what he was walking on. Merle felt like crying, he didn't even want her help!  
  


She decided to try again, "It's...It's her again...isn't it..." It was more of a statement than a question.  
  


"I'm fine, Merle."  
  


Merle nodded sulkily, and they continued to walk in silence.  
  


"Are you sure?"  
  


Van snapped at her, "Merle! I said I'm fine and I mean it!"  
  


Tears began to pool in her eyes, "I hate to see you like this!"  
  


"Merle!"  
  


She threw her arms around him, holding on for dear life.  
  


Why, bleeding is breathing

You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room

Try, bleeding is believing

I used to...  
  


"Please Van-sama!! You have to be back! Be the Van-sama I knew five years ago! You weren't even this depressed when she left the first time! You've changed so much! Staying like this is killing you! Please!" Merle sobbed into his shirt as she begged.  
  


"Merle! I told you! I'm fine!", Van grabbed the hysterical cat-girl by the shoulders and held her at arms length, shaking her slightly, "I don't know what you're talking about! I'm over it and I'm fine!"  
  


Merle regained her composure and stepped backward, wrenching her shoulders out of his grip.  
  


"No, you're not," She whispered, glaring defiantly up into his eyes, willing the tears to stop, "You figured out your feelings years ago. Act on it."   
  


Merle turned on her heel and sprinted back the way they came, angrily brushing away renegade tears.  
  


My mouth is dry

Forgot how to cry

What's up with that?

You're hurting me...  
  


Merle skidded around the corner, palms planted on the floor and heels whipping around the bend, never touching the ground. She vaulted over a cart that someone had carelessly left in the way, and bounded down another random hallway. If she could just outrun it...  
  


She sprinted up a stairway and skidded to a halt. She was on the roof. There was nowhere else to run to...  
  


She collapsed to her knees and began to sob into her hands.  
  


I'm running fast

Can't hide the past

What's up with that?

You're pushing me...  
  


She hated it! She hated all of it! The way he was moody and irritable and would lock himself away from humanity and how he wouldn't even bother to eat and he'd just torture himself! The cold night air wrapped around her shoulders and she shivered. He would never let her help! He was blind to his own depression and how it affected everyone! He would never let anyone help!  
  


Why, bleeding is breathing

You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room

Try, bleeding is believing

I used to...

I used to...  
  


Merle lifted her face from her hands and ventured to view her surroundings. The sky was beautiful tonight. She smiled bitterly and rose shakily to her feet. She stumbled to the edge of the roof and leaned over the wall. Someone was in the garden. She lifted her gaze. The Mystic Moon was infuriatingly bright. She narrowed her eyes and jumped up on the stonework, balancing precariously.  
  


Why, bleeding is breathing

You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room

Try, bleeding is believing

I saw you crawling on the floor...  
  


"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  


Merle yelled at the sky, venting her emotion as she paced along the stone, jumping across the gaps.   
  


"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HIM? IT'S NOT FAIR! HE LOVES YOU! HE'S KILLING HIMSELF SLOWLY BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!" She jumped again, landing shakily.  
  


"WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS? HUH? WHAT? ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Her shoulders sagged.  
  


"It's hurting everyone. You love him, too," She whispered, "Why don't you come back?"  
  


She couldn't handle it anymore. All the hurt. Everyone tried to hide it from her, like it was an evil secret or something. But she knew. And it was rubbing off on her.  
  


Why, bleeding is breathing

You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room

Try, bleeding is believing

I saw you falling to the floor...  
  


Merle sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. Great. Now she had to go face everyone with puffy, red eyes. She laughed, surprising herself. It felt good to laugh...  
  


Why, bleeding is breathing

You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room

Try, bleeding is believing

I saw you falling to the floor...  
  


She jumped down from her perch and began walking toward the stairs. She had an anniversary get-together to go to. She sent one last glance at the double moons.   
  


"We all miss you, Hitomi," She began to walk back inside and paused, "Some more than others.  
  


~~~~~

A/N: *radio announcer's voice* You have just heard 'Smoke' by Natalie Imbruglia. Next...


	8. Thoughts and Goodbyes

insert standard disclaimer here

~~~~~

"Hitomi Kanzaki...I love you..."  
  


"...How are you?...pretty broken up...loves you...Celena...doing fine...Millerna...Dryden...back

yesterday..."  
  


"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  


"...happy...Merle...worried about...really depressed..."  
  


"...DOING THIS TO HIM?...ALL HE DID...LOVE YOU!..."  
  


"...all miss..."  
  


"...him, too...come back...We miss you. Some more than others."  
  


"It was nice to talk to you again."  
  


The alarm went off.  
  


You'll rescue me, right?

In the exact same way they never did

I'll be happy, right?

When your healing powers kick in...  
  


"Muagghhh..." Hitomi rolled over and groggily swatted at the annoying buzz. 9:15. P.M. She

groaned and rolled on to her back. She must have set the stupid thing wrong! Hitomi flopped

into a different position, attempting to let sleep claim her. She shut her eyes and allowed her

mind and body to relax. Sleep gently pulled at her consciousness, and she welcomed it with open

arms.  
  


The neighbor's dog began to bark.  
  


"Yaaaarg!!" Hitomi rolled to her stomach and pulled her pillow down over her head to muffle

the sound. She tried to will herself to relax again, but a sheet was tangled around her legs

uncomfortably. She rolled again.  
  


And fell off the bed. Hitting the floor with a thud.  
  


She sighed. No sleep here. Figures.  
  


You'll complete me, right?

Then my life can finally begin

I'll be worthy, right?

When you realize the gem I am...  
  


She extracted herself from the tangled mess, and gathered the blankets in her arms, toting them

into the living room before dumping them on the couch. She sat on the warm bundle, and

stretched out along the length of the couch, pulling the covers around her. Sleep awaited.  
  


A car drove by with the bass up WAY too loud.  
  


Hitomi resisted the urge to scream. Was everything against her and her precious sleep or

something? She had class tomorrow! She sat up, fighting to breathe normally and not go pound

something. She was just going to accept the fact that the higher powers were not going to let her

sleep tonight. She sighed and reached for the T.V. remote, flicking the blank screen to life.  
  


But this won't work now the way it once did

And I won't keep it up even though I would love to

Once I know who I'm not, then I'll know who I am

I know I won't keep on playing the victim...  
  


"Bruce!"  
  


"Donna, I love you more than words can express. Will you marry me?"  
  


"Oh, I will, Bruce! I will!"  
  


Hitomi raised an eyebrow as the television couple came together in a passionate kiss. She turned

off the scene in disgust. It wasn't like that in real life. If it was like that, her and Rei would have

actually made it to the altar. No...her and *Van*. She sighed again. She missed everyone. 

Especially *him*. Hitomi smiled as she remembered his blush when she practically dove into

his arms when he came to get her and she went back the second time, his strong arms encircling

her when he took her flying, the goofy grin he sometimes got when he was sleeping... She

smiled.   
  


These precious illusions in my head

Did not let me down when I was defenseless

And parting with them 

Is like parting with invisible best friends...  
  


Who was she kidding? It was a figment of her imagination. That's what her parents, friends, and

psychiatrist all told her, so that's true, right?  
  


But....then what happened to her pendant?  
  


Her mother had told her that it must have gotten lost when she fainted, but her eyes were so sad...  
  


Hitomi yawned and stretched, there was no point in just sitting there. She pulled the blankets

into her room and piled them on the bed. She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and her

favorite shirt that she got when she woke up from her supposed coma. It had 'Angel' printed across the front, and wings stenciled on the back. She padded back out into the living room, slipping on a pair of shoes.  
  


She tied her shoes and grabbed a jacket. She'd go for a walk. The fresh air would do her good. 

The crisp air bit at her cheeks as she locked the front door and slipped the key in her coat pocket

as she walked down the steps and along the sidewalk. Hitomi kicked a stone and watched as it

skittered into the street.  
  


They didn't seem imaginary...  
  


This ring will help me yet

As will you knight in shining armor

This pill will help me yet

As will these boys gone through like water...  
  


Hitomi shook her head. It was insane! It was completely crazy to even consider what she

dreamed up as real. There was no way there was another planet, capable of sustaining life on it's

surface. There was no way she had gone there a la pillar of light! There was no way she had

fallen in love with a half-draconian king! There was just no way!   
  


What had really happened was she collapsed while running and was in a coma for days! She had

been in love with Rei! They were engaged! They had both gotten mutual cold feet and called the

wedding off, much to the dismay of the parental units.  
  


But...then why did it feel so wrong? Someone had to be lying somewhere. Who?  
  


It just didn't add up. Yukari's bag and her pendant were gone, and she kept hallucinating for about a year after she woke up. She kept seeing Van! So if Van wasn't real, then why would she keep seeing him? Why would he check up on her if he was a creation of an overly stimulated mind? Was it to have a friend? To make it feel like someone actually cared about her? Hitomi shivered. It was really cold. Her breath puffed out in clouds of white.  
  


No. That couldn't be it. Her family was very supportive of her after her 'absence.' And her

friends...well...the ones that didn't deem her mentally unstable and stuck around...were always

there for her. So lack of attention was out.  
  


But this won't work as well as the way it once did

'Cause I want to decide between survival and bliss

And though I know who I'm not, I still don't know who I am

But I know I won't keep on playing the victim...  
  


Hitomi paused in her trek and looked around, gathering her bearings. Okay. At least she wasn't

lost. She ducked into a nearby Starbucks and ordered a hot chocolate, her unchecked mind

running rampant as she waited.  
  


It made no sense! What she dreamed up was impossible! But that small part in her head kept

nagging at her constantly. It was real. It happened. It was true. It happened. It was real. Her

mind raged against itself. She was getting a headache.  
  


"Ma'am?"  
  


Hitomi jerked back into reality, "Huh?"  
  


"Your drink."  
  


"Oh! Thanks."  
  


"Have a nice night."  
  


Hitomi smiled and nodded, "You, too."  
  


These precious illusions in my head

Did not let me down when I was a kid

And parting with them

Is like parting with a childhood best friend...  
  


The cold air assaulted her again as she stepped outside. She wrapped her hands around the warm

Styrofoam cup and began the weary trudge home.   
  


Let's say that what happened *was* real. That it really *did* happen. That there was a planet

that was undiscovered and was able to support life, i.e. humans, angels, animal-people,

dragons...etc. Would she go back if she had the chance?   
  


Hitomi paused in her musings and watched a couple that was making out on a bench and

amusedly noted the looks other people were giving the oblivious two.   
  


Yes.  
  


She took a careful sip of the scalding liquid and crossed the street, watching for overzealous

drivers that zoomed by constantly. She walked across the park and plopped down on an

unoccupied bench. Steam rose from the cup she cradled, warming her fingers.  
  


Something a glowing white floated down and landed on the empty seat beside her. A feather. 

Hitomi tentatively reached out and barely brushed it with her fingertips. It disappeared at her

touch, and she looked around frantically, looking for a witness that had seen it too, to prove that

she wasn't crazy. She was alone.  
  


Hitomi took another sip of her cocoa, she was imagining things again. She watched as store

lights went out along the street, leaving the eerie glow of safety lights behind. It was time to go

home. She smiled.  
  


I've spent so long firmly looking outside me

I've spent so much time living in survival mode...  
  


She hoisted herself up off the bench and stretched. Her hot cocoa had cooled drastically, and she

gulped the rest of the syrupy substance down. She tossed the empty cup into a nearby trash can

and began to cross the street. Suddenly a car came barreling around a corner, straight at her.  
  


Hitomi couldn't move. Fear paralyzed her. She threw up an arm to shield her eyes from the

blinding light, waiting for the moment that the metal hit her body. None came.  
  


These precious illusions in my head

Did not let me down when I was defenseless

And parting with them

Is like parting with invisible best friends...  
  


It was warm. Hitomi peeked from behind her outstretched arm and sank to her knees on the

grass. Grass??? She did a quick surroundings check. Everything was alien to her,

yet...agonizingly familiar. A palace loomed up nearby. Was she dead?  
  


She pushed herself unsteadily to her feet. Hand curling around a foreign object as she moved. 

When upright, she eyed the thing in her hand. Her pendant! But that meant...  
  


Her gaze snapped up to the palace.  
  


Impossible.  
  


"If you wish for something hard enough, it'll come true..." She murmured.  
  


This won't work now the way it once did

'Cause I want to decide between survival and bliss

And though I know who I'm not, I still don't know who I am

But I know I won't keep on playing the victim...  
  


She gazed back at the castle in the distance. It was all true. All of it. She looked back at the glowing stone in her palm. It had to be out here for a reason, but...  
  


Suddenly it dawned on her.  
  


These precious illusions in my head

Did not let me down when I was a kid

And parting with them

Is like parting with a childhood best friend..  
  


She watched the flickering silhouettes and smiled sadly, clutching the precious stone to her chest.  
  


"I understand," she murmured, eyes glazing with unshed tears, "It will never come to be. We need to just let each other go, and move on."  
  


A pillar of light engulfed Hitomi where she stood, "Goodbye."  
  


~~  
  


"...Goodbye..."   
  


Van's head whipped toward the nearest window, and he caught a glimpse of the pillar dissipating into the darkness. He smiled sadly.  
  


"Goodbye, Hitomi. We'll miss you."  
  


~~  
  


Hitomi landed on her doorstep, and quickly looked around, checking for witnesses. There were none. The pendant's light was slowly flickering, acknowledging it's end. She unlocked the door, and slipped inside, tossing her keys on the coffee table in the middle of the room. Kicking off her shoes, she made her way to her room, and opened her closet. Hitomi strained to reach the top shelf, and took down an old box, crusted with dust and lack of use. Carefully lifting the lid, Hitomi placed the pendant inside, and ran a caressing finger along the box of the tarot cards within before replacing the cover and returning it to it's place on the shelf.  
  


Dusting off her hands, she grabbed her phone and dialed.  
  


"Hello? ... Rei?..."  
  


The pendant's light went out.  
  


~~  
  


On Gaea, the floating image of the Mystic Moon faded out of the sky, leaving behind a legend formed from the memories of one of the worst wars in her history. A legend of a weird girl, with weird clothes, and weird hair who came to save the world.   
  


~~~~~

A/N: *radio announcer's voice* You have just heard 'Precious Illusions' by Alanis Morrisette. That's all for our program..*static*.... click.


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